Thursday

I had my day on love today cs he promised to bring me out on a date for a real gateaway. Gotta admit we're so full of ourselves, it reminds me how i fell in love with you, i must be the lion while you're the lamb meoww. ha, ok pretty disclosed. We ordered MCD delivery, D's treat but i did not eat my F.O.F but hell yeah can't forget about McFlurrrrrry though. I told him that i saw the McDelivery man down the block and he actually did not believe and thought i was joking!! We chat almost abt everything in life that we missed out in each other's arms ok - back to the track, he keep nudging me to meet his Dad but i wouldn't want that. Sorry la da-ge haha mothafucking mad sad. Today Erni and I baked caramel brownies, it turned out absolutely tasty, wanted to do it w/ him for our 3rd month which is coming in a jiff , and we had afternoon 3-in-1 phone call with Derek and Erni, we must be pretty adorable cs its been like that ''Hello aneh''  and the more we synchronised.

Friday

Met idiot-boyzz123 for sch for physics remedial, suppose to be ended at 11.30 but we took a stroll around the school while waiting YKSY to get over and done with their maths remedial. Love the chocolate-frappe, Kickapoo coke omg it's been the real drug lately. Ok. So aft all drama-mamas, i went over to meet mom to get my haircut and then i went home and took a short nap cs i ended up talking on the phone w/ idiot-boyzz123 for the rest of the afternoon. Momsie cooked us great seafood for break-fast , it's simple mouth-watering and it's awesome and all while sistsy ended up somewhere in fish & co. Ok so she wouldn't left out from the great luxury of the under-water-sea I ate the salmon with it's oil it's #@%#@%@ amazing. Dad painted our living room with Mocha and Latte wannabe colour, it makes me feel like i'm a chocolate factory, which reminds me of my brother who is now holding on to great luxury of chocolate bar that my chinese great-aunt gave us, ok bye i wanna eat my bestfriends!!

Today i met an old friend we gave each other a warm and friendly glances i knew that her life's since messed up but i keep it mum. I wish i could help her but instead i wish you well xx.

Yesterday i woke up with anxiety, i went to school with anxiety, i board the bus with anxiety. I finally saw him. I hear his voice. I looked at him with great anxiety.

Dear D, when you meet a problem or an obstacle, I’ll stand by you always. When you putting your time into this relationship, and at times you accidently neglect other things that affect other peoples, it shows me that you cared and i am absolutely awed. Even though when you commited yourself in Hillary Challenge, BB School funds and other things in one single scoop , it couldn't compared on how you commit your time with me. It's impossible how you handle your affairs and put a good end on it. I always felt burning in you everytime everyday.Today when you finally opened up to me about the problems that break you into pieces, it shows me what i have be done during these months when i'm with you. Just like today, when you sob over the phone call, spilling out all your sorrows , I could feel that you were pulling your means and that made me felt powerless, helpless bcs i am not within reach. I told you that if the rest of the world walks, I'll be the one who walks in to pull you up. I always knew you were strong enough to accept the changes in life, but it's just a matter of time. On the other side of the note.. i ate 2 packs of takoyaki today!

No doubt im a royal slacker.

I miss you

I woke up realised that i am actually bracing myself for new life purposes although i am getting so fond now to break myself apart and do nothing. I'm busy storing up memories, turning it all over in my mind, because it looks like my days of living in denial are finally coming to an end. I starting learn how to believe and clutch every beautiful splashes of colour brightening up the monochrome, just as i am going to do to my life.I had to trust myself, and my instincts. I knew I couldn't be like that forever.

I have a pile of excuses for not blogging, but none of them justify it seriously. I've been going thru this and that. I've been living life in black and white, yet at times, bleaks of gray. I have finally come this conclusion that - your image of yourself is hard to shake. The outside world will influence ideas of beauty, but inside, in the place that is just you, there's only one voice, and that is just you. And mm school? goodness to heaven, hard time.  Somehow i wish it was nolstagia that only remembers when things were perfect and blurs memories of hours of emotionally detached silence.But my life's a deal, i met Derek on the third year of my high school as my class chairman, and now we've going out together,sharing hearts yep yep. My life still ongoing no matter how much i tried to make a pause on it, thus living my life to the fullest is the only plan.

So as far as i concern, today marks the first day of holiday, although there's remedials and classes pilling up - i'm pretty much love that. I love yesterday aft school with (insert couple name). Today Derek went for hilary challenge 3 days 2 night camp - and i am invited to support his team on Monday with Maisarah, sweeeet madness huh.

More people are using onsugar now, my blog does not hold it's purpose anymore. Sorry, i really can't hide the fact that i was rather disappointed by this and myself.

Hey, Derek is here taking charge (Ely's been very lazy :b)

Today was usual. Unfortunately somehow we had a major dispute over some confidential matters. I was rather feeling melancholic about it, so i withdrew my head into my drenched arms , filled with indolence and disappointment. I chose to be oblivious to the surroundings,praying for a hopeful day. Subsequently , we manage resolve this matter with our outmost interpretation and willingness.

I had a strong feeling that i was rather magnanimous. I did rebuked her for this matter , but inside my heart i really felt condemned because of our compelling attitude towards each other. After all this, she is always impeccable as she will always know that I was intoxicated by her very presence. Despite all that mess, we finally made it through another pinnacle of our relationship and will always be. (:

Byebye tomato-cute-face!

D.

Oh boy,

I'm really the cancer of the planet! Everything seems to be misleading. I just found out in the morning that my daily essentials (involved tech these days) are in the midst of getting trypophobia or it must be some paedophile who might have touched it. Further more, I'm pretty cash tight now - it's a good thing i got D who will splurge his money on my food, ok la i sound mean but it's the truth + i got so much things to buy. Oh speaking of him i got lots to complain abt my life cs i am on the edge of tipsy and breathless so srsly come back soon will you?Ok while waiting for you, thou i shalt be here cringing my face into a lime, squenching every juice out.

What's your freaking problem?